The train ride to Beijing was pretty boring. But at least they had hammers.
I figured pictures wouldn't've turned out poorly, but the scenery was pretty interesting at times. There were many places where it was clearly rural until they decided to build 10 of the same skyscrapper out of nowhere, towering over the infinite plains and emptiness surrounding them.
There was one place I really regret not taking a picture of. There was a small factory or powerplant with one smoke stack, surrounded by nothing but field and the sun above it. I can't describe it very well, but it was fantastic.
As the train came closer and closer to Beijing, the sky began to darken. The smog from the city eventually blotted out the sun completely. It was rather surreal.
After a very long and boring train ride I arrived in Beijing.
I found an ad that'd go great in Japan.
Also the trains had movies (both in the train as well as in the tunnels)! This one was explaining how animals are endangered or something. Which they really need to show more in China. As well as explain how rhino horns are made out of hair, not magic erection powder.
When I arrived at the stop for my hostel, there was a bunch of random people doing some kind of dancing.
I believe I remember hearing that one of the people at the hostels mistook the vinegar on the tables as water.
One of the best parts of China is all the ridiculous types of vehicles.
Some soda brands in Chinese in case you were wondering (I took a lot of photos of random brands in Chinese, but I'll cut most of those images).
Another of those cool bike car things.
The dancing place in the day. It seems to be some kind of night hangout and is mostly empty during the day (except the subway entrance).
They've taken to using the universal symbol for recycling and even made their own for everything else, which is cool.
That bike isn't going anywhere. (The chains are even the problem.)
In the morning, I set off for Tien'anmen Square.
Each of the lines had their own color-coded train. Not only did the train reflect the color, but so did the interior floor typically.
They also had these cool restaurant finders or whatever in the train stations.
Gross.
One Piece!
That thing no one in China knew!
So I arrived at the square and became immediately lost.
I wasn't sure which way was the stuff of importance, and managed to pick the wrong direction for a while.
I kind of figured the giant open square was the Square.
Eventually I followed the tourists with the awesome umbrella hats in the other direction and found stuff.
The crosswalks.
I finally found the Forbidden Palace.
And a bunch of other stuff.
There were a ton of people, so getting a shot without umbrellas in the way was rather difficult.
I had a similar rainbow hat in France (which I sadly lost), so I was super excited at the prospect of buying a new one. I had a vendor try to sell me some other rainbow hat that didn't have all the colors, but managed to shake him eventually and buy this one.
Except not long after I did, I saw the exact one I had in France (if my memory serves me right). Except I didn't lose this one.
I took a bunch of pictures of outside of the palace.
(While wearing my new hat.)
The giant picture of Mao was my favorite part. Just accept the baldness, Mao.
Eventually, I did make it inside.
Ancient Chinese scholars would play basketball.
With their enemies' heads.
I eventually came to a bottleneck.
To get further I needed a ticket. I set off to find one.
So many people selling so many silly things.
I decided to try going left and right to find the ticket office and ended up leaving the place by accident.
That's not how you spell "women"! I guess "dong human" is one way to write "men".
More strange stuff for sale. Some slightly racist.
So, after accidentally leaving the palace, I circled around it thinking I'd find something.
I decided to try one of the milk drinks. It turned out not to be milk, but rather yogurt. The difference in viscosity between what I was expecting and what I was suddenly tasting was initially an unpleasant surprise, but it's good if you like yogurt.
Austin Powers' moped
I eventually made it to the back entrance. The flow of traffic was in the other direction, so I couldn't go in, but on the other side of the street was some kind of garden, so I just went there instead.
I ended up buying four of these shirts.
All kinds of highly relevant things for sale.
They had a bunch of health things up for some reason.
Usopp's hammer!
Excellent camouflage.
When I finally reached the top, some random Chinese girl asked me if her friend could take a picture with me. I was suspicious that they were pick-pockets, but it seems they were just from more rural areas where non-Chinese are rare, much like Japan. They were many more people who asked the same thing from me and my friends throughout the trip, especially weekends.
You could see the palace from atop the mountain.
And the city.
Pretty sure I wasn't supposed to take a picture of this. Don't tell anyone.
The main temple thing sat at the top of the mountain,
flanked by four similar looking towers off along the paths.
They had a random park hidden in the park.
I wanted to ride those boats.
They also had a ton of random these things. There was no theme to them at all and were probably all copyright infringements.
Some maps.
I went back to get pictures of the two towers I missed.
I continued to walk around the palace to get back to where I started.
Mysterious colored pipes.
Better grass than anywhere in Japan.
You're not fooling anyone!
Bizarre phonebooths.
I like how that guy walks, but the girl has it figured out - levitate.
The yogurt drink. (I guess this is the point I actually bought and drank it.)
Stumbled on some kind of fancy something.
Just kept circling the palace.
Adult versions of the paddle boats I wanted to ride. Another thing on my list of things I shouldn't have put off and didn't get to do in China.
I finally found the opposite side of where I had exited and headed back in.
There was another garden connected to the entrance, but I was already pretty bored of looking at things, so I skipped it.
Still hadn't found the ticket booth.
I headed underground, to where I thought the train was, but it turned out to just be an underpass. As I crossed the pass, I saw more of the most bizarre part of China - children using the bathroom wherever they want.
Despite the hundreds of people walking past and even the guard staring straight over him, some random kid was just pooping on the floor. It turns out this wasn't just an isolated incident either. My new friends told me they saw a kid who got super angry at his mom, so he dropped his pants and began peeing everywhere. Even in the Forbidden Palace (when I finally got into on a later date), some little girl was using the bathroom straight in the middle of a walkway. Another day, as I was walking by the train station on my last day, some very young girl just lifted up her skirt and began to go to the bathroom right in front of the train station with hundreds of people around. Another incident, some kid was peeing in the train station, encouraged by his mom and grandma. And last (I saw), some kid outside the Mao memorial was peeing in a bottle right outside the stand selling drinks. Not to mention that zero babies wear diapers or any kind of pants. (Apparently they ironically view them as unsanitary.) So they just wear shirts or aprons. (Doesn't stop them from trying to do handstands though.)
Apparently it's mostly the people from rural areas, and the incidents became rarer once the weekend ended.
I emerged from the underpass and walked around the Tien'anmen Square.
My phone was beginning to reach its limits. One of the buttons fell off (in addition to already putting halos on a good chunk of the photos I tried to take.) I was happy that I'd be retiring it very soon.
I made my way to the back of the Tian'enmen Square where the shopping street or something was.
Wifi in China never worked, even at Starbuck's (the only reason I ever go to a Starbuck's is for internet). Apparently some kind of government control or something from what I could tell.
I found some ancient (apparently) pig shoulder store which was apparently more famous than I'd expect from somewhere they sells pig shoulders.
Surrounding the main street were smaller shops with things I was more interested in (affordable touristy stuff), but I ended up not getting anything.
EXCEPT! On the way back, while walking on the main street, I thought to myself: "Oh, right! You need to buy that ridiculous transforming and combining Thomas the Train thing you saw on the internet!" I had told myself I had to get it when I saw first online, but I thought there was no way I possibly could find it and had fought with the idea of giving up without even trying, but even though it was on the expensive-looking street, I walked into some random toyish-looking shop.
60% of the staff were asleep at their desk and expressed no real interest in me. I walked around and didn't really see anything. Some gems and jewelry and a few toys. I decided to ask someone and they grabbed this thing that I didn't think was it at first, she tried to grab the only other Thomas thing they had, but then I looked at the Chinese and read the words "change shape" and the more I looked the more I realized I had somehow found it.
And found it, I did.
Buying it was a bit strange. They gave me a piece of paper and had me go to one of the counters where I tried to get help from someone that looked really bored. She instead woke up the person next to her who gave her a look of contempt at having woken her. I gave her money and she stamped the paper and resumed sleeping. I had what I thought I'd never find, and it was better than I could imagine.
I don't know if you noticed, but the box art alone is amazing. It's clearly pictures of real trains with the same face photoshopped over them. Also, it actually says "Tomas" instead of "Thomas."
My day fairly complete, I decided to head back.
I like their emblem.
So, I was standing outside one of the government buildings along the Tian'enmen Square, trying to get a picture with the flag blowing in the wind. I noticed pretty quickly there was a man, peeing behind some cars for some reason. Fortunately, he didn't notice me, so I tried to get the photo and be on my way.
Unfortunately I have OCD tendencies.
He eventually noticed me and seemed somewhat confused why I was taking a picture of the building in the first place, but seemed to want to cover up the potential awkwardness so he offered to take a photo of me in front of the building. I was worried he'd run off with me phone, but I ended up with these terrible photos instead.
They really need more bathrooms in China or something.
Also, exploding the top of your car is illegal in China apparently.
The underpasses are strange places. What is that cage even for?
I finally made it back and took some more photos of my treasure.
Where else could it have been made?
So day 1 in Beijing turned out pretty successful even though I didn't make it into the Forbidden Palace I'd always wanted to see since playing Civilization 3. However, that night (despite my plans to try and be anti-social the whole trip), I met some people going there the next day. Little did I know I had stumbled on my travel buddies for the rest of Beijing.
